I think there should be an Elul contemplation on giving up on expectations, burying unfulfilled hopes that need to be finished.
Perhaps the contemplation of the thirteen attributes of God, on which Lawrence Hoffman just released a book from Jewish Lights.
"The Lord! the Lord! a God compassionate and gracious, slow to anger, abounding in kindness and faithfulness, extending kindness to the thousandth generation, forgiving iniquity, transgression, and sin..."
I think a prayer like might be helpful:
"Gracious Lord, I have tried my best to fulfill your wishes and to imitate your compassion. Yet, my heart continues to ache. Help me, source of mercy, to relinquish my expectation of this other. Enable me to understand that their choice is not my choice, nor my choice theirs. Help me to see that you have a mission for each life, and that in walking this path, that is mine alone, I fulfill Your vision to an end I cannot yet know or comprehend, but surely is Your will. With your help, God, I will discover the meaning of my pain, and pursue it with a whole heart. Help me to heal, to turn, to forsake what cannot be. Shower me with Your love and Your mercy, that with You at my side I may continue to show compassionate loving kindness to all, and discover the true source and purpose of my life."